Harvey: Stardew Valley

Favourite Dialogue

Just Me Ranting I Guess

• Harvey's Ambitions
• The 'Too Sweet' Incident

Harvey's Ambitions

I just feel like waxing lyrical so here we go. One of the biggest complaints I've seen with marriage in Stardew Valley is the fact that some of the spouses just completely give up on all their ambitions after marrying the player: Alex stops wanting to become a pro gridball player, Sebastian decides he's happy in the valley after spending half his heart events talking about how badly he wants to leave, etc. Harvey though? He's already given up on his aspirations before you even reach the valley! Him marrying you does nothing but give him a nicer place to live (and like. companionship obviously). This is one of the many reasons I advocate for romancing Harvey. If you've got a saviour complex, leave Penny alone for a run and rescue this man from his apartment full of old microwave meals!

To go into detail about this apartment, please observe the image on the left. First of all, that is fucking tiny. This is a grown man. Canonically one of the 'older bachelors'. And he is expected to function with two rooms?? And a galley kitchen??? No wonder he's on the ready meals he can probably barely breathe back there! He doesn't even have any counter space! He's got a michael wave, a fridge, and a sink. Who was designing the utilities in this place what the fuck. We know from post-marriage dialogue and gifts, especially the 14-heart event that Harvey can cook, so the only real explanations for him subsisting entirely off of ready meals is either 1. he's busy (Mr 'I don't have enough patients'? I don't think so), leaving 2. HE HAS NO RESOURCES TO COOK WITH T-T SOMEONE SAVE HIM.

Notice as well how one of these two rooms has been utilised as FOUR ROOMS. We are looking at a bedroom-cum-study-cum-dining room-cum-living room. That's got to be overstimulating. You could spen an entire day there, sleeping, eating, watching a TV, making model planes, listening to the radio, etc, and you still wouldn't have broken 500 steps. He hasn't even got any decent feng shui going on, his bed is getting bombarded by the doorway energy from that pathetic excuse for a kitchen. Clearly a dire living situation. It's clear he's made some attempts to freshen it up, with a whopping five whole potted plants (not that he could fit any more), and his plane models and maps as decoration (real. If you're autistic and want a room to bring you more joy, just throw up some stuff relevant to your special interest. I swear it works. I'm looking at my Shadow the Hedgehog poster right now and can confirm its bringing me joy). Even with this, its still bad. I have an upgraded farmhouse with a kitchen you can move in, let me save him.

And so begins the saving. Harvey goes from the aforementioned:

• Galley kitchen
• Bedroom-cum-study-cum-dining room-cum-living room

To:

• Open-plan kitchen dining room
• Open-plan living room
• Seperate bedroom
• Seperate spouse room
• Spouse garden/patio

And this is all just minimum! You could have up to 11 rooms if you choose all upgrades! Regardless, this is a huge upgrade for Harvey (and a lot of sposes to be fair but this isn't the Bachelor/ette shrine is it).

So, you've saved him from a life of microwave meals and minimal floor plan. What about those aspirations? Is he content to just become a house husband and let go of everything he's ever wanted? Yeah no he did that years ago. Harvey always wanted to be a pilot (hence the plane obsession) but apparently you need 20/20 vision for that and my man isn't rocking the specs just for fashion. So he moved on, years before the events of the game, found a new dream in community focused healthcare and he enjoys it! He carries on even if you have an ancient fruit wine empire! The only change he really makes is reducing working hours which just makes him happier without fully compromising his job.

>The 'Too Sweet' Incident

Okay so I would like to preface this by saying: I don't want to yuck anyone's yum. If this is your jam and you love this, that's your perogative. This is Stardew Valley, not Othello in A-Level English Lit, it doesn't matter that you are misinterpreting key parts of the text. THAT BEING SAID. THIS SHIT PISSES ME OFF SO I WOULD LIKE TO RANT. So, as a timeline, pre-March 2024, Harvey was consistently referred to as 'the boring doctor guy' by a large portion of the fandom. Of course there were some who enjoyed him despite his reputation (ME!!! ME!! also the Grapefruit Sky discord I see you guys). IMMEDITATELY POST HOZIER RELEASING 'TOO SWEET', Harvey's popularity skyrocketed. I don't know who started it, but someone used the audio (specifically the 'I talk my whiskey neat // my coffee black in my bed at 3' part) while talking about Harvey (animatic maybe?). Understandably, Hozier is 2 things. 1, an incredibly talented singer-songwriter who has just written an incredibly popular song. And 2, one of the biggest sex symbols of our time. This man's (mostly American 0-0) fans have single-handedly caused the UwU-ification of Ireland. Man is from Dublin. He sings a lot about the industrial working class. He is not your rural fae 'bog-king'. I'm sure the ROI tourism board love this but yeah a lot of citizens don't.

Anyway, minor Hozier tangent out of the way, onto the song. People are using this to refer to Harvey, as in, he's coming from the POV of the singer. Harvey. The guy who, whenever given wine talks about 'alcohol in moderation'. Dr 'joined women's aerobics because he was conscious of needing to improve his health' Harvey. The man who's worst acts of unhealthiness have been his microwave dinners because of his shitty tiny living space. Harvey who goes to bed at 10, or 11 if its a special 'beginning with a T'-day. He is so clearly not this idea of unhealthy hedonism the song is about! I can forgive 'whiskey neat' because it's not in the game and it's a fair enough substitute for wine (plus I feel he may enjoy a glass if he could. Just seems in character), but 'coffee black'??? in his 'bed at 3'??? The man who loves coffee but only likes triple shot espresso. THe coffee in the game could be black, but the fact its a full mug? That's at lowest 8 ounces. That's 8 espressos. That's 5 more than the triple shot that he only likes. Who is serving 8 espressos at once? I know Gus isn't, he cares too much about his customer's health. Therefore, despite the only ingredient being coffee beans. I declare the stardew valley coffee to not be black. Moving on to the second part of that line, the noun '3' is chosen because that's an absurd time to be drinking coffee in bed whether you're in the AM or PM. 3AM is insane because you're not going to sleep with all that caffeine and 3PM is just like. Why are you still in bed. Who are you, me?

I hope my explanations have brought you to the same conclusion as myself, dear reader, that 'Too Sweet' being a Harvey song is just stupid (I haven't even mentioned the singer's rejection of the healthy object of their affections!! It's 'too'!!! It's fucking 'too'! That's bad!!!). However, I have a solution. Instead of just not associating the song with Harvey, because it's a banger and doesn't fit on any other playlists, I ask you to imagine the song about Harvey, but, with the farmer being the singer. Woah unconventional never been done before, I know. Seriously though other people saying this have great points, who is commonly the unhealthy, hedonistic, risk-taking one in gameplay and most fanworks? Who has an absurd sleep schedule due to gameplay? Who drinks black coffee? People who min-max the skull caverns I'm looking at you! Anyway yeah this is just a great Harvey x Farmer song that sums up the strains on their relationship caused by worry and conflicting lifestyles thank you for coming to my tedTalk.

Incorrect Quotes

With Harvey, my farmer s/i, and friends